And So It Begins

  I figure it is probably about time to let everyone know what is going on in my life again. So...where to begin...

  I am teaching kindergarten again this year and have twenty-one energetic kiddos who keep me on my toes. While I have a much better handle on the curriculum this year, I'm finding that I still stink at classroom management. I've got three kiddos that regularly meltdown. I have four others that take turns being little pickles of trouble as well. I can't let my guard down for a minute or things go downhill fast!

  Working with this group continually reminds me that man is fallen from birth. We are born selfish and wanting our own way. It is only by God's grace and mercy that we can rise out of this and become something good and loving. I pray that my students will all come to understand this truth and accept Jesus as their Savior and be transformed. I pray that their lives will be filled with joy, even as their lives throw much sorrow at them.

  In other news, my car fell in love with a tree, and the first date didn't go so well for my car. January was a bi-polar month weather-wise. We had snow, and sunshine with nearly 50 degrees, AND two weeks straight of below-zero temps. This crazy mix of weather turned the hill to our house into a sheet of ice. As I was going in to town one day, I lost control and smashed the passenger-side of my car into a tree. I was completely fine (other than being terrified of driving on my road for about three weeks)...my poor little car, not so much.  Although Dad and a wonderful neighbor got her running for me again, she's pretty scarred and not highway-worthy at the moment. You might be thinking, "OH, time for a new car! That's exciting!"

  However, I will not be buying a new car. You see, I won't be needing one in a few months. "What?! Why?!" Let's go back to the day before I crashed my poor car. I had been feeling like God was asking me to take a risk. He kept throwing quotes and songs and Scriptures at me that were all pointing me towards taking what, for me, is a huge risk. So, the day before the crash, I sat down at my computer and started googling international schools. I found some interesting organizations that day, but nothing totally grabbed me, so I just kind of decided to pray some more and see if it was really the direction God was pushing me.

  The next day, I crashed my car. As I opened my eyes after the impact, and told myself to take my foot off the gas pedal, I heard God speak to my heart, "You aren't going to need a car." I knew in that moment that I would be going to an international school for the next school year.

  In the following weeks, I contacted my pastor about trying to find a Christian international school and he hooked me up with our missionaries in Bolivia. They threw out some schools and I began the process of looking. I ended up applying to the Network of International Christian Schools (NICS) thinking that I would go to Bolivia. But, because God always seems to have different plans than me, I was contacted by a school in Brazil.

  What's the difference between Bolivia and Brazil? For me, the biggest difference is the language. In Bolivia, Spanish is mainly spoken, while in Brazil, they speak Portuguese.  I took a little Spanish in high school, so I figured that would be easier. Plus, I've met quite a few of our missionaries and I would have already established contacts in Bolivia through them. Sounded good to me.

  But I wasn't contacted by Bolivia. I was contacted by Brazil. Honestly, I was thrown for a loop. I was disappointed. I called the director from Brazil back anyways, knowing that I needed to at least hear him out. We ended up having a great conversation and I came away feeling like I could definitely go there and be okay. I took the weekend to pray about it and discuss it with my parents and close friends. Throughout that time, I never once felt like any doors closed, rather they opened wider, even as fear dropped in for a visit and made me emotional and wishy-washy.

  Even now, I am scared. Super scared. One of the biggest problems I am dealing with is that I am very close to my parents and depend on them a lot. God keeps bringing up the story of  when Jesus says, "Follow me" and the guy replies, "First, let me bury my father." God calls us to die to ourselves and follow Him. We are to let nothing get in the way of that, either. Not comfort, family and friends, fear of the unknown, fear of hardships-- absolutely nothing. God is calling me to pick up my cross and follow Him.

  Quite frankly, I've been on two two-week missions trips. While I enjoyed the countries I was in, spiritually and emotionally, the trips were rough. That part was not at all fun. In fact, after the first one, I really didn't want to go on the second one because I didn't want to put myself in another trying situation like that. Being refined by fire hurts. Just thinking about the hardship that occurred on those trips makes me question whether I have made the correct choice in accepting a position in Brazil. But that's the selfish-side of me talking.

  God never says a life with Him will be devoid of hardship. Actually, He says just the opposite. But, Paul says we should "Count it all joy." And he says that it is a privilege to suffer for Christ, to experience just a taste of what our Savior went through to redeem us. (Thanks for that reminder, Annie!)

  Anyways, life isn't about me. It is about bringing glory to a holy God, who loves us more than we can fathom. If I have to suffer in order to help someone else experience the love of Christ, then it is worth it. I just might have to be continually reminded of that, because, I'm still pretty selfish. And God knows that, and even so,  He has still asked me to do this. I think He's a little crazy. But so did Moses. And probably Abraham, Sarah, Esther, David, Hosea, definitely Jonah, Mary, Joseph and quite a few other Bible "heroes." God's got it all under control; He always has and He always will.

  As for additional details- I am, hopefully, leaving in July (depends on when my visa comes through). Amazon Valley Academy (AVA) is an English-speaking school initially set up to educate missionary kids. They have teacher housing that I plan on living at. The school is air conditioned! I may be teaching Pre-K, 4th or 5th (another item of stress for me).  I'll post additional details as I learn about them.

  Please pray that my visa will come through quickly. I've done the whole "start after the school year" business, and I'd really like to avoid it. It's so hard on the kids and me. Please pray for peace and joy for me and my mother. And be praying that AVA will be able to be fully staffed and make a difference in the lives of the students and surrounding community.