Herding Cats

   A new school year has begun and I find myself teaching nineteen small, wiggling bodies how to sit, stay, listen, open milk cartons, how to be bucket-fillers, and other academic and social things that will help them be better people, hopefully. A week or so ago, I saw a meme that explained that sometimes, classroom management is similar to herding cats. Being a cat person and having had many feline friends growing up, I can immediately identify with and chuckle at the irony the meme puts forth. Children, like cats, have minds of their own and do not necessarily care if their actions please you or not. It's quite unfortunate. But it's also just part of the job. Not only do I have to teach academia, I also have to teach behavior, good citizenship, and basic life-skills, like tying shoes and flushing the toilet.

   I'm doing better now, but the two weeks leading up to the beginning of school found me in panic mode. I was terrified to teach again. The last two months of the previous year went...horribly. My kiddos completely lost their heads and forgot every single classroom rule, as well as some of the playground rules. Nothing seemed to work, not positive reinforcement, negative, bribes, time-outs...nothing. So with my confidence in my abilities not existing, I prepared for the new year with a large amount of trepidation. I actually bawled the Friday before, and leaked a few tears the day before school started as well.

   The day of school dawned and by the end of the day, I felt much more confident about teaching for another year. And I realized something anew- my God answers my prayers and He is always with me. He didn't throw me to the fishes (or the cats). He goes before me and behind me, and is beside me all day, every day. I do not have to do this in my own strength. He doesn't want me to.

   Will I still make mistakes in the way I handle different situations and lessons? You bet. But, my God is bigger than my mistakes. I continue to ask for wisdom for the next day and for His strength, also. If I can remember to dwell in His presence and strive to bring Him glory in all of my actions, I will be so much better off at the end of this year.

   I lost sight of my purpose at the end of last year. I forgot that I am to bring God glory through my words and actions. This purpose should be my motivation for getting up in the morning. My prayer is that I will remember my purpose every day this year-that I won't take my eyes off of Jesus and sink in the waves. I want to walk on water with Jesus this year as I herd nineteen little cats.

My life is in you, Lord,

My strength is in you, Lord,

My hope is in you, Lord.

In you, it's in you.

I will praise you with all of my life,

I will praise you with all of my days,

With all of my life, with all of my days,

All of my hope is in you!

Character Building

  Monday marked the beginning of the fourth quarter of the 2012-2013 school year. Next week marks my sixth month of teaching. Time has flown and I have grown as a teacher. Though I have grown, I continue to realize that I really know next to nothing about my profession. There are always better ways to teach everything, and better ways to address the standards that I am doing my best to cover.
  As I realize that I am entering the final two months of the school year, I find myself wanting to "coast" through the rest of the year, especially since we have covered nearly all of the letters of the alphabet in depth.  I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot do that. Coasting through the rest of the year would be a major disservice to my students and would hurt their academic careers next year and in the subsequent years. Call it spring fever, a perpetual case of senioritis, whatever, it is a dangerous desire. I am having to frequently remind myself that I cannot ease off on instruction. I will persevere and, by golly, I might still get a bit more information into their little brains before the end of May!
  Since my senior year of high school, I have routinely struggled with a sense of apathy around this time of year- a "I just want to be done" feeling. I have to be honest; summer is my favorite season of the year. My responsibilities during the summer change. For some reason, they don't seem as stressful as the responsibilities I have during the academic year. I have more freedom to pursue my favorite hobbies and activities (which are largely outdoor-related). I tend to enjoy the heat...all around, summer is very enjoyable to me.
  Back to my sense of apathy. This happens in my spiritual life from time to time, also. Every now and again, I hit a plateau, of sorts. I reach a point of growth that requires a huge leap to reach the next level and sometimes...I'm not ready for it yet. Or perhaps, I just think I am not...probably depends on the situation. But, anyways, I hit that point and I start to feel like I'm not going anywhere- like I am going to be stuck there forever. Sometimes, I persevere for a time, but after a while, my determination fizzles. I get frustrated with myself and then with God for not just giving me a push or making it easy. Then, I go back to being frustrated with myself for being impatient and not trusting the Mastermind of the Universe to mold me in a "timely" manner. Usually, I eventually let God give me strength to let Him keep picking at the issue until I relent and let Him fix it.
  I am definitely my own worst enemy and hold up my own growth. The reason usually comes down to fear and pride. For some silly reason I'm afraid of letting go of part of the "old" me, afraid of what God is going to require of me, or am too prideful to admit my own flaws to myself and others. Often, I just don't think about what is bugging me because I am afraid of what I will find upon reflection. I pretend to be apathetic. I know that's not healthy, but it's one more of those character flaws I don't feel like tackling yet because I know it will be hard and messy.
  Where am I going with this? Of late, God has been speaking to my heart about these periods of slow-moving growth. He's been sharing with me that growth is a process, and that the process brings more growth than any other method of learning. Sometimes the process is quick, but more often, it's slow. We usually come out of the process with more than one lesson, thus changing us in multiple ways, too.
  Romans 5:3-4 says, "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."
  There you have it. The process of growing in our faith develops endurance, character, and most importantly it strengthens our confidence in God and His salvation. Romans 5:3 & 4 gives me hope that even though I feel like my faith is growing at a snail's pace, I AM growing. God is developing endurance, character, and confidence in Him. When I look back at previous seasons of slow growth, I can see that God was preparing me for this season and more.
  Each time I go through a slow process, I come out more ready for the next one. I handle it better by relying on God more and remembering how He brought me through the other seasons. My remembrance of God's past faithfulness gives me hope in present and future seasons of trial. I find it so neat that I can see those verses in Romans at work in my own life.
  Our walk with God is compared to a race in Hebrews 12:1 and 1 Corinthians 9:24. An old adage says, "Slow and steady wins the race."  I am definitely running the race slowly most of the time, although not always so steadily. I nearly come to a stop sometimes when the going gets toughest. The going is slow, but the slow IS going, and I have confident hope in my salvation. In the words of a beloved Sunday School song, I fully believe that "He's still working on me."

God's Child

   As children, many of us know who we are. For me, I was Girard and Shari's daughter. I was a princess. I was a good student. I was a Goody Two-Shoes....Then we grow older and we realize all the people we could be. Many feel they need to decide who they want to be. And sometimes, that's really hard. For me, did I want to be a career person? A stay-at-home mom? Or maybe a missionary in the wilds of South America?  Did I want to be an adventurer or a non-risk taker?

   Many of these choices are made for us through the unique personality that God gives each of us. God gives us room to make some of these choices for ourselves. For example, I am not a fan of running and chose not to do basketball or track. Although, somewhat athletic, I wouldn't say I'm an athlete. We are given other choices that also become part of our identity. Will we be Christ-followers, known as God's children, or will we turn our backs on Him? I believe this choice plays a HUGE role into whom we become. 

   Over the last few years, God has been revealing to me who I am. He has given me the revelation that because I was made in His image (Genesis 1:27), I am very much like Him! God loves to love and be loved (I believe this is partially why He created us); He craves fellowship (Why else would He have created a way for us to come back into fellowship with Him?!); He is kind, compassionate, gentle, patient, good, righteous, understanding, a peace-maker...this list goes on! Because I am made in His image and especially because I have chosen to follow Him, I am called to possess all of these traits as well! They are to become a part of MY identity.

   So, I am called to become like Christ....and I do that how?  Actually, it's a pretty simple in theory. Bear with me as I explain- My mom and I have often conversed on the way children pick up on the (good AND bad) characteristics of their parents. The same applies to behaviors. I have also made the observation that I take on different characteristics of my friends. What is the commonality between parents and friends? Time. We spend a lot of time with these people! And so, it makes sense that we might take on some of their characteristics. We do this with co-workers, as well as, close friends and family. 

   Back to becoming like Christ- how? The same way we become a bit like our family, friends, and coworkers, by spending time with Him. God wrote us a great, big letter to show us Who He is and the characteristics He possesses. It goes to reason that if we will but spend time with Him in prayer and reading His Word, we will slowly become more like Him! What's even better is that He is our Daddy (see Roman 8:15), and He has no bad characteristics to pick up on. We can be proud to call Him our Daddy and to be known as His child. What an identity! 

   I have chosen to be a child of Christ and I claim that as my identity. As I come to realize who God is and what His characteristics are, I become more certain of who I am and who I am supposed to be. I'm not perfect by far, but I am striving to take on more of my Father's characteristics every day.  Do you know who you are? Whom have you chosen to be? Is that whom you want to be? If not, what can you do to fix it?