Psalms: Then & Now

The Psalms are one of my favorite books in the Bible. The authors are not afraid to tell God how they really feel, even if they know what they are feeling isn't really true. What makes this so neat is that God cares about how we feel, even if it is misguided. He wants to us to be truthful with Him and to share with Him EVERYTHING. So if we don't like His timing,  if we're angry at Him, or we are overcome with joy in His presence, He is okay with us telling Him- He can handle whatever we throw at Him, because, well, He's God.

One of the really cool traits of the psalms is that many of them are simply songs of praise to our magnificent and loving God. Also, many start out as prayers of desperation and end in songs of praise. Often the authors begin to remember that the God they are crying out to has saved them before and is much greater than the trial that is currently overwhelming them.

In my own life, I find that it is usually easier for me to be completely honest with God by writing out my prayers. Sometimes I go back and read what I have written. When I do so, I often find that my prayers are similar to the psalms. I cry and lament, and then many times I end up reminding myself Who it is that I am praying to and what He has done for me in the past. Maybe I'm weird, but the similarity fascinates me. It also tells me that God has been handling human fickleness a lot longer than I have been around. Although it has to be somewhat irritating to keep teaching His followers the same lessons over and over, He continues to do so with more love than any of us possess. "My Child, my timing is perfect." "Dear One, I see your pain. I am here and will protect you." "I know you are angry, My Love, but it will be okay. You will one day see why this has happened." "Oh, My Precious One, see how the actions of others have clouded your perception of me? I will never cause you that kind of pain." So much patience and love....for every single person on the planet! It is so incredible to me.

Haha, I've gotten slightly off topic. God is so good, it is hard not to praise Him. So I will leave you with a prayer I found when I went back and looked through my journal. I wrote it in a form similar to the psalms. :)

Praise Him, all you people!
Praise Him, all the earth!
His ways are excellent,
His love, unfathomable.
He knows my every fear,
and yet He never leaves me.
He knows my doubts,
but protects me even more.
He loves me as His Daughter.
He loves me as His Bride.
How can I express the depth
of my gratitude and love?
You, O God, are my Rock and my Shield.
Only You can satisfy my soul,
Only You know my every thought and dream.
Day and night, my heart and soul cry out for You.
Tell me the things I should say and do.
Make me like You. Give me your heart, Father-
A heart that cries for the nations; for the people closest to me.
Give me the strength to love and the will to see them as You do.
Praise Him, all you people!
Praise Him, all you nations!
Praise His Name forever!

To Be As Clay

It’s official! I am now a graduate of Montana State University-Bozeman with a Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education. The week after graduation, I came home and subbed several days. After subbing in the middle school, I have decided that the lesson planning would be much easier, but I would not be able to handle the students. The poor kids are so awkward, haha. It helps me better understand myself at that age. I also feel sorry for my parents.

                Anyways, I then went to China for two and a half weeks. It was truly an amazing trip. We were specifically helping out in an English Training Center. Basically, for two whole weeks, we simply made friends with Chinese students and hung out with them from morning ‘til night. They asked us questions varying from, “Do you have a boyfriend?” to “What do I do with evolution and creationism?” and more. The hunger for the knowledge of Christ was so constant in many of the students. For those who are wondering, it’s not illegal to be a Christian in China. It’s just illegal to share your faith for the purpose of converting people.  If the Chinese students brought it up and asked us questions, it was okay for us to answer. And ask questions, they did!

                Has God ever showed you that He’s got more work to do on you? I feel like that was partially what the China trip was about for me. From the beginning of the trip, our team leader, jokingly, but seriously, told us that our theme for the trip would be, “flexibility.” Boy, oh boy, was that prophetic.  From luggage mishaps to unplanned airport sleepovers to relentless rain, we had to be flexible. To be honest, before we left the U.S., I felt like I had really matured and come a long way in my faith over the last few years. And I was really kind of proud of it. Over the course of the trip, I was tested in many areas. I found out that I haven’t conquered my quick-temper, or my judgmental attitude, or….well, the list goes on.  I feel quite humbled. God used this trip to show me that although I have come a long way, I’m not all the way there yet…not even in a few things. I think the problem was that I was taking credit for the things He was doing in me. God is the one who has been helping me conquer all these areas of weakness. Without Him, I would never have gotten as far as I have. That’s a truth I need to remember, forever and always. I am so thankful that He would love the mess that I am and continue to mold me. When I get out of line, He has to remold me, maybe even take a glob of clay out. One of the facts that amazes me is that even though it hurts when He has to get me back in line, it’s so good in the end.

                Lately, God has been placing Psalm 37:4 on my heart, “Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart’s desires.” I know what He is speaking to. What I am struggling with is putting some of my desires down and just focusing on and delighting in my relationship with Him. I am trusting that He will help me do this. I want His desires to be my desires. What could be better than that? To be given the desires of God’s own heart, can you imagine how fulfilling and amazing that is?  

He’s such a good, loving God. So full of wisdom and knowledge and power. I am so thankful He chose me to be His daughter and bride. This summer is going to be good. J