Queen of The King

Sometimes we realize what we are getting ourselves into when we ask God to show us something. Most of the time, we are clueless. I find myself once again in this place.

The XA Burn was kicked off a couple weeks ago. At one point while we were worshiping and singing, Jesus was reminding me that I am His bride. Those who know me well know that one of my most heart-felt desires is to become a wife and mother. One of the songs we sang was "Faithful to the End," and one of the lines is, "You're jealous for Your Bride." God has told me time and again over the last nine months that I am His Bride. That line just kind of hit me that night. I am HIS bride. I am already married! HOLY BUCKETS!

As I was thinking on that, something else hit me. I am married to a KING! My thoughts immediately went to, "I don't even know how to be the wife of a regular, earthly man. I am super selfish and can hardly fathom being married even though that's one of my deepest desires. Shoot! I am married to a KING! What does that even mean?!" So, because we were worshiping, I did the only thing that seemed logical at the time. I start singing, "Show me what it means to be married to a king."" I sang that several times over. Nothing magical happened; the band moved on to the next song and so did my thoughts.

The next day I was reading a friend's blog, and he talked about how worship is not just singing. It's about a right relationship with God, and that our lives should worship the Most High. I had heard this all before, but God added to it. He had been convicting me about how I had been behaving in class, wasting time and procrastinating getting homework and other important tasks done. As it so happens, I had watched Princess Dairies 2 earlier in the week. At one point, Queen Clarice tells Mia that as royalty, they are held to a higher moral standard than everyone else. God pointed out to me that since I am married to a king, I am a queen; I am royalty. Therefore, I am held to a higher standard.

As His wife, I represent Him. People judge Him through the actions of His bride. My life has to reflect my relationship with my Husband. I have to show how much I love Him. With my life, I want to worship my Lord. As I am sitting in a class that seems pointless; as I am doing homework; as I am interacting with people around me, I must chose to behave, speak, and react as my Jesus would. For me, this means I need to put more effort into my school work, and I need to make time to exercise and treat my body well. I have to love and pray for the people that I have a hard time being around.

This is partially what it means to means to be the queen of the most powerful King of the universe. Since I am married to Him, I need to be in constant communication with Him. I am accountable to my Husband for how I spend my money and time. There are going to be times when I am going to have to chose Him over my friends and family because we haven't had good quality time for too long.

The great part about being married to Jesus is that He is a romantic. He is going to continue to woo and pursue me. Just as in earthly marriages, my love for Him will grow deeper as I get to know Him better all of the days of my life. My prayer is that I will truly become one with my Husband; that people would not be able to tell us apart. "Is that Jesus or is that Breann?" It's going to be an amazing journey as the queen of the King.