So what's so special about this year? While my friends have been talking about weddings and babies in their friend circles for a while, this is the first year that it has really hit my circle of friends. Being a hopeless romantic, it has been really fun for me to watch my friends fall in love and start planning their weddings. A few have been married for a bit and are now starting families. The majority of the time, I rejoice with my friends and take joy in their happiness. Every once in a while, though, I fall prey to the thought of, "When is it going to be my turn?"
God has placed within me a deep desire to be a wife and mother. I have loved the man I will marry since I was little. In the same manner, I already love and treasure the children we will have together. That being said, I have yet to even go on an actual date. That fact, in and of itself, has been disheartening at times. I have gone through periods of wondering if I wasn't pretty enough, talented enough, sweet enough, etc., etc. Since moving to Bozeman, God has been telling me what He thinks of me.
He has given me revelation after revelation of His amazing love for me. He has been telling me how much He adores me, and He tells me of the traits that make me so special. He thinks I am the most beautiful girl in the world. He loves how I delight in His Creation. He sends me sunny days just to see me smile. He even sings country songs to me. Jesus is romantic like that.
I have found complete contentment in God's love for me. His love is perfect. He knows every flaw, every thought, every doubt, and yet, His love never wavers. It leaves me in awe and wonder.
Now, I am not perfect. Every so often, I still long to love and be loved by that one special guy. In fact, sometimes my desire for that is so strong, my heart almost physically hurts. But I know that God's timing is perfect. With this knowledge, I cling to my Perfect Lover, the Lover of my soul, my Loving Father, my closest Friend. Jesus wants me to love Him first and most. He completes me in ways that no human ever could. He has instilled within me this deep knowledge, and because of this, I know that even if I never marry, I will always be married to the perfect Husband. I don't think that God will ask me to be single forever; but if He does, I will be content with His love.
So I have reached the age where people start getting married and having babies. No big deal. God's got it all under control.
